Purity thoughts.

So RaRa leaves for AK today, and she has asked for multiple prayers in her journey with purity and a hot, long distance boyfriend. RaRa, I don't blame you (those abs of his...) :)

RaRa has said a few somethings to me in the past few days about purity that make me think... once, we were talking about clothes or church, or even both, and she said something about not wearing a specific low-cut shirt because she didn't want to tempt any man to think impure thoughts. In my head I thought, "yeah, I respect that- but, they should control their thoughts! That's not our job! It's not like you're dressing slutty!" A few days ago we were talking again, and she mentioned wanting to be very careful about not doing anything with her man to make him think lustful things when they are together.

These talks both kind of rocked my world because I have always thought of purity being something I controlled about myself- my thoughts, my actions, mine mine mine. I had never really thought about what I do as having an affect on another's purity... don't get me wrong: I try to make sure to dress conservatively for the most part, and make sure I'm not flashing this hot legs all over town, but I think if I'm honest, I do that for my own comfort rather than the protection of others' purity... (I don't like thinking that some strange guy could be thinking lustful thoughts about me just by looking at my outfit or whatever).

That said, these thoughts have been kind of swirling around my head, and in my latest 'tete-a-tete' with the Runner, I realized that I am in NO way doing my part in keeping our relationship lust-free. Yes, I have decent 'brakes' and can say no when I feel like it's going in a lustful direction for me- but I have no concept of stopping my attempts at being 'sexy' or whatever, when we're being physical To put it bluntly, it's easy to say, "Oh no, that's my 'line'- don't cross it by doing that, please." It's so much harder for me to say, "Oh no, what I am doing to you is making you think lustful things, I've crossed your line, I need to stop now". What a CONCEPT for me!

Now, I'm feeling a few different things: 1) a need to ask for forgiveness from the Lord for my misguided and wrong thoughts about what I can do to remain pure in a relationship- for both me and a man; and 2) a need to re-evaluate what's going on with the Runner- I'm feeling like I want to take more responsibility for our physical relationship, and I'm also wanting him to be more of a leader in this arena. I think I will need to also ask his forgiveness for tempting him with lustful thoughts and making it quite difficult for us to be pure, together.

Also, as another point: I need to involve God more in these day to day actions of a relationship. Correction: I want to involve him more. I know it feels better when He's involved, and it's not up to me or the Runner to find the line and toe it. I desperately want God to be the center of whatever relationships I have, especially one with a man. This is where the 60-60 idea comes in, too: my watch totally beeped in the middle of our makeout session, and it was like, "Wait. Jesus time, right NOW?" I feel like if I am prayerful and following the Lord in His hand in my relationship, it won't be weird when Jesus time is in the middle of a makeout session, or whatever... cause I'll be so connected I'll know I'm doing what I should be, not just what I want to be.

Does that even make sense? Have you even read this far? What are your thoughts, girls? In terms of purity struggles, where do you find your hardest battles and how (or) do you stay connected to God while you're in the heat of the moment?